Fording America in a Chrysler

In early June of 2011, we set off on a round-trip drive from Texas to New York so that we (that is, Cheryl) would have her own car for her 6-week long summer vacation (while I promptly returned by plane to the coal mines of Dallas). The drive up north was a quick dash in two days to cover the 1500 miles in about 24 hours of "road time" (quick stops included).

I planned this trip just as our grand-parents did road trips - just start driving! I made no reservations in advance... no checking carefully for internet ratings, best prices, and such... "we'll just go til we get tired and find a road-side h/motel for the evening" thought I. Well, my thoughts were in need of some rehabilitation - we drove around for some time (in the rain) looking for an available room in the Louisville area - only after several stops did we find a vacancy. Fortunately, a decent one - I am a "luckier-than-average bear"...

As a reward for the accelerated no-frills first half (and to make up just a tad for my having not properly planned our single night's need for restful accommodation), I made our return in July a lil more interesting...

Cedar Point

Our nephew, Thor, is working his first post-college summer as a seat-checker (aka fat-tourist-stuffer) on the Raptor roller-coaster at the Great Amusement Park in Sandusky, Ohio. He is working for below-minimum-wage in order to learn about hard work, commitment, and to further the fun-level of America's Touring Tourists. As a minor side benefit, his girlfriend, Paige, just happens to work 500 feet away at the Disaster Transport attraction ;-)

In a day-and-a-half, we experienced plenty of thrills in the summer heat near Lake Erie - we rode in the front row of every ride, including the 310' Golden Ticket "number 1 rated" steel coaster for 2010, Millennium Force! There are many coasters here and a rather good Wooden one - the Mean Streak - which is highly rated, very smooth (at least down the first drop) and quite long.

Some great rides, good air time, plenty of G's and a successful smart-phone launch at 90+ MPH from Cheryl's purse! Both Thor and Paige (in row #2) had the optimal viewing angle to see the 3-day-old Android escape heavenward in sloooow mooootion into a lovely Blue Sky on a unplanned voyage to a seemingly doomed meeting with Planet Earth... After a (clandestine?) search, it was recovered and is operational having only lost the back panel - now that story should beat the abuse dished out by Swayze and Mongo in the old Timex adverts hands-down!

BTW, when booking a hotel room, read the online reviews and check carefully but remember that sometimes it just isn't possible to know in advance that your River View room looks out over a brown stream towards a large grain mill and a cement factory! Still, we stumbled upon Wing Night next door and indulged a 'plenty!

@Thor & Paige: Thanks for a fun adventure!

From Saints to Sinners

The following day began with a 280-mile dash across Ohio to reach the beauty of Kentucky! And not only the lovely hills there, but to reach sanctuary at St. Mary's Basilica just over the border from Cincinnati. It can make you wanna be Catholic for this is like being in Europe in the cathedrals from centuries past - this church was built by local Irish and German families over two decades and has the World's Largest church stained glass window (67' x 24') which is worth seeing for itself alone; however, there are many more fantastic windows (see pic at left), carvings, and murals - plus, the huge organ and the Gothic architecture of the building itself. A blessed beginning to our day...

...was derailed in no time by a stop at the Jim Beam distillery. Yup, its easy to tour every one of the Bourbon manufacturers in the state and learn the ways of moonshinin' and sip as much white lightning as you like. We did only the one factory since JB is the largest of them all. Our tour guide was a young Kentucky belle who is a family descendent of the dynasty. She showed us a miniature working still (see pic) and taught us how to make a proper corn-mash, double distill, burn our barrels, and wait 9 years for the results - makes cheese-making seem like its done in a microwave! That is a long time to hope no one breaks into the warehouse with an awl and a straw... and (to my unrefined palate) the final hooch is harsh (129-proof)!

I learned that the secret to finding an authentic Mountain Dew Still in the woods is to look for black bark on the trees - really - the distillation releases (happy) gas that encourages (very noticeable) mold growth on nearby forests - this is how those darn revenuers caught pappy back in the day! So, after a few sips of the devil's drink....

...we spent a night in jail! After arriving in the state's second oldest city of Bardstown, we passed the luxurious Wickland estate where three Governors have lived so that we could sleep in the haunted county prison, the Jailer's Inn. Yup, it has now been converted to a B&B, but the building still has 30" of limestone for the exterior walls, large timbers for the ceilings, remnants of shackles on the floors and walls, and several un-restored cells for viewing. This was a harsh lock-up where justice was swift - and slightly capricious at the whim of the presiding sheriff or traveling judge.

The innkeeper, Dixie, is an ex-Texan grandmother who is escaping the drudgery of daily childcare for her offspring's children by living in a spooky prison cell in a jail only closed down in 1987 after a century (and a half) of housing plenty of ne'er-do-wells like Jesse James - apparently (says she), his cousin was married to the local sheriff so he and his gang stayed there at the jail as a true guest where the state law would not think to look for him! Must admit tho, that is a good hideout and a fine story...

"Don't look inside the cellar!" says Dixie as she nods her head up and down to encourage our misdeed - I still wonder what was down there? Neither of us, for the record, were bound over for trial (I have a good attorney).

Oh, and when YOU drive through there, remember to stop by at Hadorn's Bakery and get a YumYum (or two) - it's worth the drive!

The War Years

Kentucky could have kept Lincoln if only they didn't have so many land-deed disputes that drove his family away to Illinois. Our Great President was born in a small log cabin on our nation's frontier while his father was unable to return home due to a winter storm. He was not so poor as one might think, as his father made out well in due time (according to the tax rolls), but his home was far from luxury even for that day.

A Federal Memorial marks the exact spot of his birth (coincidentally, on President's Day), verified by archeological evidence. It is a neo-classical design (by John Russell Pope who also did the Jefferson Memorial) with an ornate and symbolic presence at the top of a small hill in the deep green woodland. In contrast, the small cabin is placed inside and alone to accentuate the rags-to-riches story of this man who, many say, was the one to truly create the American Dream in a land where it was not yet present in fact.
So, from his childhood years at the dawn of the 1800's, we head south into the war zone near his final years in the 1860's. As a Californian, I learned too little about the War of Northern Aggression, but as a Texan-in-Training, I try to catch up. Shiloh ("Place of Peace") was a small Methodist church, housed in a modest log cabin in the Tennessee hills, but here in April of '62, Yankees and Rebels clashed in our nation's bloodiest fighting (up to that day) in a key battle for two days, then moving south to Corinth (MS) where the southern forces were defeated. Future US Presidents, Grant and Garfield, fought here as well. This was just the beginning of our tragic war for greater carnage would follow - and at this hour, our nation learned just how much suffering was ahead.

For the true student of The War, markers are placed in hundreds of locations at which one can stand where cannon were placed, attacks mounted, retreats taken, and a general fell dead (from a stray shot they say). Skittering among the remnants and remembrance are forest animals being cute - really - we watched baby raccoons dig for food and several baby deer jumping in the woods....

Redemption

After drinking and driving, prison and war, one seeks relief... so why not at America's Greatest Mansion on the Mississippi, Graceland? There are plenty of memorabillia for sale and customers there to buy it all - mostly with Australia/NewZealand/British accents indicating to me that we have successfully exported our highest values of democracy to the world at large.

Speaking of value - the Heartbreak Hotel is a Memphis bargain right next to Elvis World USA and HE is on EVERY channel on EVERY TV in the place! In the lobby is a hotline phone - pick it up to get a PINK LIMO ride over to Marlowe's (as featured on Food Network) for BBQ - we did just that with no regrets...

From Tupelo to Tennessee, the story of Elvis is another "anyone can grow up to be..." epic that we honor so often. Frankly, the tour is properly kitchy, but it is still quite interesting to see how a young man turned suddenly (and significantly) famous has to balance personal & private life and how his abundance of money was spent.

He did indulge himself quite a bit... with cars, airplanes, bikes, technology (like big color televisions and a microwave) - essentially classic man-toys of that era. However, he also gave money away to many worthy causes... and friends & family of course. His home was a man-cave with carpeted ceilings, expensive furnishings, plenty of "look at me" styles. Not that it wouldn't have been fun to be a 3-day house guest during the 60's!

He passed away at 42, a short life of marriage & divorce, birth (of Lisa Marie) & death (of his mother), poverty & wealth, fame & isolation, talent & ignorance, good choices & bad...

And, now I finally know - for certain - that MY swimming pool is BIGGER than his...

PS. No surprise that I have even more photos and blather online!