China 中國 – Part II (Mao's Missin'!)

First of all, I trust you have read Part I before joining me here....

On Tour:

The Forbidden City covers 720,000 square meters (that is 1,116,002,235 square inches for you metrically challenged readers) and includes five great halls, seventeen palaces, and is reputed to have a total of 9,999 rooms (that number falling just shy of the Chinese concept of infinity symbolized by 10,000 and yet having several 9's, a magic number for royalty). All this indulgence is surrounded by 3,400 meters of stone walls (averaging 7 meters thick and 10 meters high to rebuff cannon attack) and a six meter deep, 52 meter wide (!) moat. Seeing the Emperors’ fancy crib was a good start to touring China as it provided a key perspective on this land and its many centuries of feudalism in which so many supported an elite few for so long.

Our tour company earned our praise mostly for their guides, who were pleasant, capable in English, and knowledgeable about our destinations. They brought us to several touristy spots each day that were interleaved with a factory tour in which we were brought in as a captive audience to view a demonstration, learn the history and observe the manufacture of certain Asian arts. Our guides became head-hunters who were paid a commission for having brought in the tourists and their fat wallets full of Kwai (and plastic) to spend. On one level, we became a commodity, but this type of objectification was not painful and we did our duty by purchasing adequate quantities of appropriate goods to encourage this great Circle of Commerce to prosper for years to come.

Thus, our next stop was an experience of the "Chinese traditional medicine culture", where we had a brief introduction to the mix of Western and Eastern approaches to health, the body, and diagnoses of disease. We are introduced to Eastern medicine and the mapping of the 5 elements (Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, Water) to colors, emotions, and various body parts. At the conclusion of this overview, several doctors in white lab coats enter our classroom to provide a complimentary evaluation of any volunteers among us. The good Doctor's diagnosis is conveyed via a translator to Cathy who is advised to buy some traditional herbs for her "ailments", for which the cost, however, is over $100 for a month's dosage. Cheryl and I also take the bait to test the doctor's insight into our health which is gained only by checking our triple pulse (using three fingers placed upon each wrist) and the visual inspection of our tongue. His conclusion is similar to what any sighted person might advise, that we are both middle-aged and (a touch) overweight. This, we are confident, is a revelation that our local doctors have failed to recognize.

We next stopped to see the expansive grounds of the Temple of Heaven which occupy nearly four times the area of the Forbidden City . This is the famous location where the nation's Emperors would visit annually to pray and offer a sacrifice for the Fall harvest. It is dominated by the Hall of Prayer for Good Harvests, a magnificent triple-gabled circular building, 32 meters in diameter and 38 meters tall, built on top of three concentric levels of a white marble stone base. This structure is completely wooden and constructed without nails (but perhaps just a touch of Gorilla Glue?). Inside the Hall itself are four inner, twelve middle and twelve outer pillars, representing the four seasons, twelve months and twelve traditional Chinese hours (each one being 120 minutes in duration) respectively. For the Chinese, the Earth is represented by a square and Heaven by a circle, so many features of this temple complex symbolize the connection of Heaven and Earth, as seen in the buildings, enclosures, platforms, and landscaping that emphasize the superiority of the heavenly realm over that of earth.

We found ourselves highly fortunate to enjoy grand weather on this day and throughout the remaining week in Beijing. The smog lifted (or was blown away) and blue skies reigned (that's the good kind) with a sunny disposition. Still, the winter cold kept us bundled and bound with hats, mittens and earmuffs. This tour group is small and we are joined with a Colombian family who import Chinese toys to Miami from Hong Kong and so they visit Asia regularly, but it's their first time so far north in the Winter. Thus, for the Escobars, this weather is very cold!

Our daily tours included a lunchtime meal which was at the Bangfuchun Restaurant, where we enjoyed family-style dining with a large Lazy Susan in the center of a table seating our whole family. The fine selections were not unlike those one expects States-side at your local establishment - chicken, pork, (probably) beef, and fish. A highlight was being encouraged (nearly forced) to have a (small) glass of "Chinese white wine", which is actually diesel oil flavored with mouth wash. Good thing I needn't drive that day with 112 proof (56%) jet fuel in my veins -- and I was not the only imbiber that afternoon, but I shall not fink on my nephews...

What Communism?

Onward to a factory where genuine pearls are extracted from the oysters right there in front of one's very eyes. Another marketplace to observe how the products are harvested and strung into lovely jewelry for us to own. No fakes here, obviously, so it is time to buy now. Seriously, we keep our cool and resist the urge to spend frivolously and only let $100 escape from the wallet...

Another 30 minute drive (almost out of town) takes us to the Summer Palace, a very large and beautiful imperial retreat. It is regarded by many experts as a museum of gardens in China having the classic look of a towering Palace on a hill overlooking 2 acres of shimmering lake. The catch is that the landscaping hand of man stretches beyond just the trees, shrubbery and flowers; the hill itself and the entire lake are man-made (just like in Texas and at Disney World). These gardens are the largest destination of the day and our trek around (part of) the frozen Kunming Lake is notable for the elevated corridor on which most of us walk. Originally, only the Emperor (and his attendants) would stride along this half-mile covered portico with its detailed carvings and hand-painted scenes depicting legends and stories of this ancient land. The recurring theme of the Mockingbird from a classic Chinese love story is amplified by the actual birds in the trees nearby. There are also various depictions of the Monkey King, who is strong and swift and can transform into a variety of objects and animals (an ongoing Asian theme apparently) with the exception of his tail! Rather like the Eastern version of Curious George with some magical powers thrown in...

As another reminder of just how the world has changed, street vendors at the palace are hawking plenty of cheap items, in particular both purses and bird calls, although I cannot fathom the connection. At points, we are barraged with invitations to unload our burdensome money. Char, I should note, successfully negotiated a purse from $50 down to just $5 with the simplest phrase – she had said “No thanks” (and she did not buy it). Yes, the initial price is thrown out casually and everyone understands that it is just a starting point to show how great a bargain is about to be presented. Often enough, the price will drop steadily even without making a counter-offer, so silence is as good a bargaining tactic as any for the first round.

At the end of the long corridor is the Marble Boat, a lakeside pier designed by the Empress as an expansive (double-decker house) boat with stained glass, a magnificent bow, and to show off just how much can be done with all that tax money she had available. Cheryl had seen this antiquity on TV long ago and she really wanted to finally see the real thing to prove that one's childhood dreams can come true.

In the evening (on several nights), we visited the Silk Market, where every name-branded retail item is available for sale (e.g. Louis Vuitton, Reebok, Polo). This market of fakes even has fake police, who I suspect are the same kids hired for selling who, while on break, don a vest and helmet to walk about the store looking official. We regularly spotted a teen-aged boy or girl standing near the escalator landings dressed in traditional garb yet appearing very out-of-place in China! I think they were there to sell us on a visit up to a Genghis Khan restaurant. I was tasked to purchase an Ed Hardy rhinestone ball cap, an item that sells for $100 States-side, but was purchased for about $7 at the market. They first offer a special price, several intermediate prices, then a final price, then the lowest price before extending the boyfriend price (while caressing ones cheek affectionately). They are very physical (far more aggressive than in Mexico) and will grab your arm to guide you into their spot, especially if you touch (or look directly upon) an item. The boys, Scotty & Thor, devised a clever team buying approach with a good customer / bad customer style; the second one discouraging any purchase and attracting the distinct ire of the salesperson. So together, they completed many deals (as did all of us) which we discussed eagerly to learn the tricks of this trade.

Cheryl's secret agenda item for this entire voyage (the purpose of the trip shall I say) was to... buy a purse. The male readers (and even a few of the non-males) may find this absurd, but it is certainly not so. As the spouse of a purse-hunter, I have learned to appreciate the bargain, no matter how much effort, planning, blood, and law-breaking may be required of all parties to the transaction. So, once in the market, Cheryl sensed opportunity and struck quickly for if you actually take the initiative with the market's vendors, an even fight is at hand. She had studied carefully, of course, and knew precisely the prey for which she fished and identified the item clearly to the young lady at the booth full of leathery goods. We soon discovered that catalogs and cooperation play a key role as we found the LV satchel pictured on a page of the Chinese Book of the Purses and then the system magically made the item appear. The dealing, however, moved into a side-room away from the main action for, we suspect, some of these items might not be legitimate! Apparently, a mortgage is typically required in the US for most families that take the plunge to acquire a real (read as "very expensive") Looey Vwitone handbag (which is larger than most carry-on suitcases). Not only is Cheryl prepared and informed, but we found ourselves mightily fortunate to have the assistance of the great Purse Master himself! Yes, for Thor had seen a TV show (and actually paid attention) on how to accurately identify such fakes by checking on the color, stitching, etc. Thus, when the fake was pronounced to be a high-quality authentic reproduction, the deal was bound to be finalized and so, for less than a 10-hour taxi ride (or 30 full dinners, or a single oar for that marble boat), she became the proud owner of THAT PURSE. I can assure you that the banner over our hotel room that night read "Mission Accomplished".

The lower floors of the Silk Market are safe, but the 6th floor is very dangerous and up here only the bold and naive (that would be us) dare to tread. One is neither hounded nor assaulted, but rather scrutinized and nearly ignored for here lie the Grand Masters of Sales who appear to be diminutive Chinese girls, but are actually some of the most treacherous demons of the New Capitalism. One finds jade, silk, and pearls in abundance and this is where Cheryl and I found ourselves when the wolves attacked! Pearls are (another) weakness and into the clutches of the Yu Qian Jewelers we walked just as did Hänsel und Gretel who were similarly enticed so that they could be eaten...

There are photographs on the walls of International Celebrities and key political figures (somehow, the Clintons were in every store!), so we are at the right place to strike a bargain. They do not beg you to buy at all, but simply size-up their prey (customers) quickly so take note and do not wear your diamond rings or they will smell blood. A free beer (or two) were offered to me (for I, like Hänsel, am German you see) as a distraction and to repress my instinct to shout "NO". In fact, the ladies were kind and complimentary (having carefully studied the Zen of Flattery) and after brief bargaining down by over 60% (where the scary part is when I realized that an actual price would soon be established), a long strand of Black Pearls was in hand (and on nape). And to let us fully comprehend just how much we had overpaid, they even tossed in TWO Free Gifts!

If it's Tuesday, this must be...

The hotel rooms have disposable slippers that are simply too small for most western feet – on Thor, they fell short by half. On Carrie, however, I suspect they were just right. In fact, she confessed that shoes in China are actually too small (really!) for her feet. We tease her though, that, despite her petite stature, she is a double-XL in China!

The breakfast buffet at the hotel was offered at an irresistible price of just 10元 ($1.50) per patron and included the following delicacies as the best from both the East and West:

• Toast w/ ham,
• Hard-boiled eggs,
• Foam cake with sprinkles,
• Warm milk,
• Warm (orange) Tang (!!),
• Black tea,
• Coffee,
• Bananas,
• Fried rice with egg,
• Elbow macaroni,
• Shredded kelp,
• Steamed dumplings,
• Rice congee (soup),
• Asparagus

Alas, no Cocoa Puffs, Frosty Flakes or Root 'N Tooty selections. But if you are thirsty and can't drink hot Tang, the small gift shop in the hotel lobby offers a wide range of items for the international traveler, including such vital elixirs as Beer, Tea, the magical Red Bull Vitamin Functional Drink (after all this new year brings in the Year of the Ox), and canned coffee. There is NO excuse for lacking caffeine in Beijing! BTW, I saw something that has been absent in the US since the 70’s – a pull tab on soda cans! The mainstream US-brand products use the newer pop-top, but the local drinks and the unknown brands are environmentally dangerous commodities. Jimmy Buffet should walk carefully on the beach here...

Our guide this day is Yuan-Min, who loves Texas basketball (we think he hopes to be mistaken for Yao Ming) and takes us first to visit the 500-year-old Ming Tombs, where thirteen unique Imperial tombs are scattered among the hills for each Ming Dynasty Emperor and his Empress. The one that started this tomb-building frenzy, Yongle, is handsomely recreated in bronze and large piles of paper money lay at his feet in tribute. This observation is the key to the boys' clever plan to distribute temple statuary of Emperors and Buddhas all about the city where they will idly collect monetary tribute which will be collected at intervals for their private use. Typically such offerings are to be used for the temple and its monks, but they boys have other ideas. As we exit the grounds through the gate, the guys step first with their left foot while the gals lead with their right. We said in unison, “Wah Wii Lie Lah” meaning “I am leaving” (or "My Wii controller is broken"). Soon after this stop, we had an extra rider in the tour bus, another guide who was the girlfriend of our driver (and surprisingly to us, they were not very reluctant as to PDA).

Next, we rode back into town (about 50 miles) to the Friend Yongsheng Stone Carving Factory, where Scotty proved himself to be the Jade Master after having received an Official Endorsement by the World’s Largest Jade Market for having accurately identified the genuine article amongst several fake jade bracelets. Naturally, we called upon our in-house expert to evaluate our purchase for Cheryl’s mom to be certain we had a good deal. They have some very large pieces costing many thousands and use every bit of the stones, even creating sand pictures from colored jade dust! For the grand-daughters, we custom-ordered a pair of Jade Chops (stamps) with their names in both English and Chinese. We watched the expert carver do his job swiftly and I had the opportunity to chat in Japanese with the sales lady (who, no doubt, was too kind in praise of my ability after a 20 year lapse).

After a mid-day traditional Chinese lunch, we set off to see the Great Wall of China! Finally, another great milestone as we had recently seen Chichen Itza, so this visit marked TWO of the Modern Wonders of the World in just months. We first posed for the ritual of a group photo which turned out rather nice and was sold to us with a book about the wall. The boys then took off quickly to scale the wall and reported later that they nearly reached Mongolia (or at least far away) where they met a man with a camel and negotiated 10元 ($1.50) for a ride. Then paid another "fee" to take pics as proof of their camel ride. More Capitalism growing in the countryside of this vast country! There are many vendors along the wall even quite far up from the "base camp" near the roadways. We did not take the famous cable-car ride, but selected a point from which the hike from carpark to wall is rather short. I thought that I had traveled a considerable distance over a dozen segments (between towers), but the boys went further than that - so much for the zany exploits of youth (says the wisdom of age). They boys bought their T-shirts and may have borrowed a small unused part of the structure itself as a souvenir to prove their adventure was real. It is truly a marvelous sight and a great place to add to one's lifetime of experiences. So, the climb up hundreds of steps atop the steep walls in bitter-cold gale-force winds was a Great Adventure for all.


On Thursday, we set out for a second visit to Mao. The map showed just how close the Square was to the hotel, but distance is deceiving so we had a good distance walk to see the street life of Beijing. Halfway along, taxis and scooter drivers sensed our presence and offered a ride to our destination. Charleene, having so recently acquired new knees, was quite interested in accepting the offer knowing the risk of being abducted. Fortunately, her son, Scotty, joined her on the scooter, which took off quickly in a perpendicular direction to where we expected to go. They had bargained a price of 20 (which in Yuan is fair), but the driver did attempt some extortion by claiming it was $20 (7 times more then Yuan), but settled for 20元 ($3.00) each - a good price for a good story! Barricades guide our access and force us to traverse and underground walkway rather than cross the roadway. Metal detectors intercept our pathway to scan our backpacks and purses (but not us) to catch contraband and appear to provide security. No time is lost, however, as we quickly stuff items on the conveyor, push by swiftly and grab them back again (very unlike at airports). We approach the guards ready to line up for the Chairman, but are informed that he is busy on Thursdays! Doing what, one can only imagine. So, we have failed again to see him and only then recalled that we were told to return on Tuesday, but were busy on the tour, so had waited until our free day. Drat, how can a dead guy be so busy that he can't spend a few moments with his anxious visitors?

Next...

There is still more ahead, so Part III will be coming soon! For now, check out more photos of the adventure...