Top o' the Charts!

How about them Rangers? Our MLB baseball team has now set a club record with the best season start in this millennium! Unbelievable, but TRUE... And all this in just TWO games! Gotta hand it to these boys...

Bon Voyage

The excitement is palpable (whatever that means) as the departure nears for the women in our lives to set out on a road n' sea trip...


Has the world yet heard the exciting news
'Bout the ladies’ imminent ocean cruise?
There will be no men -
Only estrogen!
Might the ship flounder with all those shoes?

Y'all cheer, “Let’s go! Be rid of the guys!”
As you sail on toward azure blue skies
Old Salts have a ball
At each port of call
With plastic in hand for cheap Mexican buys

Vodka tonics, Margaritas and rum
Will assure there’s no end to the fun
Stewards kept busy
Keepin’ gals dizzy
‘Tween ports while at sea, you’ll always be numb

Diets forgotten at endless buffet -
Soaking up sun before evening Soiree!
Ogling teen pool boys...
Viewin’ men as toys...
Raising a toast to the “American Way”!

Hurricanes, Grasshoppers, Mojitos -
Ease burdens and lighten those sorrows
But don't shed that dress
If you drink to excess
Just what surprise might you likely expose?

Then, off to the beach for a surfside splash
Draining ev’ry purse of any last cash
Your wild cougar pack
Just need not look back
Despite scalding burns from each Hot Flash

Then back upon land you'll return
Drained by liquor, the sea and sunburn
Captured memories...
Dozens of stories...
And perhaps next year, it’s the guys’ turn!

Tick Della Roo

Me: "My face hurts!"
Wife: "It's killin' me!"

Haha - that's Wicks family humor for ya! I had to record a voice message for my new boss on Tuesday to let him know that I would be late as I had to see my dentist about a tooth ache. Couldn't say that my face hurt...

Despite his enthusiasm, X-Rays, and several tests, my dentist couldn't solve it, so my merciful wife "encouraged" me to visit a Care Now doc last night who had the fun of diagnosing me as a victim of Tic Douloureux, so at least my latest disorder has a sexy French appelation...

The bad news, however, began quickly with my Google searches:

** "Tic douloureux is generally a disease of middle age or later life" - okay, so I'm there and the parts are wearing out.

** "...is possibly the most painful condition known to medical science" - ooh, not so good to learn that, except I can brag about it at cocktail parties!

** "...the cause of this disorder is unknown in most cases" - darn, but I'm sure it can't last long!

** "...patients may have daily face pain attacks for weeks to months" - well, medical science must have a cure!

** "...after a remission (if any), it reoccurs as severe as ever, while other individuals have the pain continually" - ouch!

** "...for most patients, the episodes become more frequent and more resistant to treatment with medications over time" - darn Internet can provide too much information!

** "...there are severe surgical procedures that might be effective" - which means brain surgery as in skull bone cutting, etc...

** "...there are no long-term medical consequences of the disorder as it is purely a pain syndrome" - pain without consequences! Yippee...

** "'...victims 'are begging to be killed,' said Kim Burchiel, M.D., professor and chairman of neurological surgery at the Oregon Health & Science University School of Medicine, 'I'm telling you, it's total agony'" - maybe an expert, but I'm not sure I want to see Dr. Kim about my prospects...

Okay, enough already with the Internet advice!

If YOU don't have TN (aka Trigeminal Neuralgia), then congratulations! Enjoy not being in the worst pain ever... with no prospect for an effective cure. Still, you should worry as "it is estimated that 1 in 15,000 people suffer from it...", but don't pull those teeth quite yet!

My arrival in my late 40's and recent bouts with illness (e.g. a recent, painful, yet benign and huge blood clot in my leg) is an opportunity to be reminded of mortality and to accept being reliant upon others for some of the simplest things in life.

Can I find a blessing in this tribulation? I know it is possible and have done so before and observed the witness of those who praise God despite their most daunting troubles.

Physically, there appears to be a fault in the design of this facial nerve, but parts naturally wear out and it is a more basic tenet of science that dictates the failure of systems. However, if illness, trauma, and all things unwelcome were eliminated, would the world provide a foundation in which humanity would thrive?

Beyond Mother Nature's call for the Circle of Life to govern her domain and prevent any long-term domination by either individual or species, I am certain that the challenging Problem of Evil lies at the core of our happiness itself.

I may be very upset at an illness which strikes randomly without any apparent cause, but it is a reminder of a justice that is truly blind. Can I appreciate happiness without having known the dissatisfaction of an unmet need? I must say that when my TN pain subsides from any of my dozen "attacks" each day, the respite is so welcome that I experience great comfort and appreciation for my relief. Perhaps, even made deeper in that it is a temporal restoration, bound not to endure and not under my control.

Without illness, there is no need. Without need, there is no assistance. Without assistance, there is no giving. Without giving, there is no sacrifice. Without sacrifice, there is no love.

My infirmity is required so that you can offer love. For me to learn to love, I must recognize your need and decide to sacrifice what I have to give and assist.

Hopefully, my Tic will subside. If not tomorrow, then soon. But, the reminder of how many needs in this world remain unmet should remain on my mind forever. After all, it would be shameful for my pain to be wasted...

Do You Scream for this Ice Cream?

Is this our President flashing the victory sign in front of the US Capital building? Maybe it is, but I'm not quite sure who's flag that is - did Obama create a new one to match his Presidential Seal? The Russian advertising agency, Voskhod, is promising a new flavor of the week for Duet Ice Cream: "Black in White"! They claim that "Everyone is talking about it", so perhaps we should encourage adialog like the Germans have done with their line of snacks called "Obama Fingers" - frozen chicken fingers with curry dip! He is the "World's Leader" and was the overwhelming favorite for the non-US citizenry. Is this why he was their chosen one for the White House? Is our President a windfall of profit via marketing? Well, "It was supposed to be a homage to the American lifestyle and the new US president," Judith Witting, sales manager for the company, told the paper...

Finally, they really love him in the city of Obama in Japan, where marketers are capitalizing on his universal message of change in a television spot for E-Mobile. A primate dressed in a presidential monkey suit sells cell phones in this senselessly insane TV commercial.

Chimp Invaders attack Stars!

These reports indicate that chimp invaders are focusing their aggression on celebrities!

March 19, 2009: Katy Perry was personally assaulted.

May 11, 2008: Christina Ricci was molested!

January 24, 2009: Even the Bollywood movie industry in India is succumbing to Japanese demands that chimpanzees become stars in their cinema productions!

Why the silence from mainstream news reporters? This should be in the major headlines!

Remebrance

I was taught by one of my uncles that we "live our lives on the dash" referring to that Oh-so-small-single-stroke character on our gravestone that shall sit between the dates that mark birth and death. It is just a separator of the two most significant events in a lifetime, but that is all we have in which to be thrilled, grieved, awed, and inspired. These are the only moments to love, hope, and express our faith. It is so very brief - a short instant in human history that passes swiftly by and is gone like a vapor.

As I reflect upon the recent passing of my Uncle Bill after Christmas last year, I am reminded of his kindness, enthusiasm and the enjoyment he had for his friends and family whom he dearly loved. He was diligent to keep all of us in his life and made sure to reach out to everyone to let them know that he cared. He was ever youthful (as evidenced by the photo) with praise for all, a light-hearted outlook, and a desire to comprehend our world. I shall always remember the stories, advice and times together as I reflect on a man of character, who was a success worthy of fond remembrance as he accomplished so much in the days he was granted.

What lesson do I gain from such an example? To live fully, touching the hearts of those precious souls whose paths meet with mine. To focus more on the present, the people beside me and simply the current moment. If we cannot be certain upon what lies beyond death, can we unite together and express our affections during the fleeting time in which we stand on this side of time? I hope so and believe that he did too. Thanks, Uncle Bill. In your memory, I offer a few words to ponder....

---

Waiting

Some say the doors loom large and dark
Some say the entrance is not easy
Some say the far side is so much better
Some say there is no door at all

Yet here we wait
All of our days
In queue
And wonder

What lies beyond that gate prepared for us?
From which we cannot escape
Nor comprehend from this locked side
At which we are waiting still

Every day
Thousands pass through
Most are forced
But a few select themselves to cross the threshold

What shall we achieve
Whilst we wait?
Is the line itself our purpose?
Rather than the destination beyond?

The young know not
The old are too aware
Hence both enjoy their greatest hours
For this moment is all they feel

But not me
I am far away
And the wait will be long
I have time to think

But still I am limp
Doing nothing but watching time
And seeing nothing
And saying nothing

I am punished for my indecision
Must I see the path before me?
Can I know what fate shall come?
Will I trust the shouting voices?

What toll must be paid?
And to whom shall I render?
Is my liability insurmountable?
Or is the debt not mine at all?

These questions posed
Do not yield to our answers
And thus extends our wait
Before the doors

Shall we draw together then
To nurture justice and love deeply
United by our common fate
To share this finite moment

For when time ends
And loved ones part
All that remains for us to know
Is the wait itself

---

Typically, waiting in line is something endured before the ‘show’. Many people feel that we are in store for great times in the afterlife, so the comparison intrigued me. So, why should we treat our years in line as a burden when this perspective might encourage us to share these limited days with the folks “who just happen to be standing next to us” with love and understanding?

Japanese Train Chimp Army!

If you can see it on YouTube, it is true! Not only are the chimps stepping up their attacks on Americans, but this secret footage (disguised as a game show / music video - so be sure to crank the volume!) shows how the Japanese are training chimp recruits for mobilization across the globe...




Asia is clearly planning to have their secret Chimpanzee soldiers fight an urban war by training them to blend in with human society as school children riding the subway!



Warn your friends! Be vigilant! Report simian spies to the authorities! And keep reading for more...

Chimps will rule Earth...

If you don't have a chimpanzee phobia, you should! These recent events are just another resurgence of the ongoing rebellion against humans. If they're not eating your face, they're plotting to crush your skull with a rock. Creepy.

March 9, 2009: A canny Swedish chimpanzee who calmly collected a stash of rocks and then hurled them at zoo visitors in fits of rage has confirmed that apes can plan ahead (and be sneaky and mean) just like humans.

February 17, 2009: A 200-pound pet chimpanzee in Stamford, Connecticut, viciously mauled a woman he had known for years, leaving her critically injured with much of her face torn away.

Be on guard to make certain that these murderous acts don't lead to a world dominated by simian creatures.

Keep reading! The worst is yet to come...

Dishes...

In real-life drama, a failing dish washer forces all domestic havoc to break loose which demands that tough decisions get settled...

In the sink, dirty dishes
Had sat for a week
Not unlike dead fishes
They'd begun to reek

The puddle on the floor
Told the tale so clear
The Maytag was no more
"She's dead" was my fear

No way left to serve food
As the stacks piled high
Wife's in a bad mood
As she'd wash and I dry

If I shan't fix it soon
She'd turn more irate
We had neither a spoon
A fork nor a plate

Twas time to start shopping
For a new washer now
"You've got to get hopping",
So said my dear Frau

Just what happened today
I'm sure you can guess
The old beast hauled away
And replaced with no mess

Our glassware's now lustrous
The silver's so bright
But the biggest new plus
Is my spouse's delight!


Guess what? We have a new automatic dishwashin' machine! A two-week saga is at a close and tranquility is restored to the Rauscher home...

Aging is Relative

Happy Birthday to Albert!



As we celebrate Mr. Einstein's 130th birthday today, we should briefly take note of just how often he acted his age...

Furthermore, I offer my simplest of tributes:

To the man who spurned convention
As he described the fourth dimension
I raise my beer stein
To good ol' Einstein
And for his "timely" comprehension

What the heck, here's a chaser...

According to Einstein's great theory
Light itself can never grow weary
Though they're faster than all
Photons may never stall
For their speed is not arbitrary

When I grow up...

Here is a gentle reminder for all parents to always check your child's homework before they hand it in.

A little girl submitted this picture for a class project that required the children to draw what their parents do for a living…


And here is the mother's response when the teacher questioned the parent about the picture…

Dear Mrs. Brooks,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out of every single shovel that we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at the store. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Auretta Jones

Navy SEAL Pup Workout

The US Navy is now training younger recruits by encouraging more physical fitness in their first months. Click on the montage below to view an action-packed slide show of this 5-month old!


Just like her Big Sis, Hallie-Looya
Little Sophie is ready to show ya
That this SEAL Pup
Did her first push-up
No doubt her first word will be Hooyah!

"Rocky"

I was resting in the backyard spa and snapped one of our neighborhood squirrels as she ran by...



Or rather flew by! 'Tis a good show to watch the gymnastics that nature provides.

Next Limerick

So, the joke needs to have the natural flavor of a limerick by being off-color with a twist, so this one meets the criteria:

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

Some elaboration later and voilà:

A misogynist cabbie was grooving
Past a lass who yelled "Pig!" at a curving
He answered her, "Bitch!"
'Fore his crash in the ditch
Since the hog in the road wasn't moving

Limericks du Jour

I began my limerick-in' by targeting some classic family jokes such as this one that mocks the geek who takes a solicitation from a naked co-ed rather literally:

An engineering student was walking across campus with a shiny new mountain bike when he was approached by a friend, also an engineering student. The friend said, "Hey, where'd you get the great looking bike?"

The first engineer replied, "Well, i was walking across campus the other day. This beautiful woman rode up to me on her bike, ripped off all her clothes, laid down on the ground and said 'Take anything you want!!!'"

The second engineer replied, "Good choice. Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway!"

The challenge is to take the key components from the prose and introduce each in proper order with a good rhyme and classic metric:

Some girl on two wheels; nude as a tyke
Challenged me to “Take what e’er you like!”
Well I pondered a bit
Saw her clothes just won’t fit
So I’m riding this pretty new bike

Another joke...

What CAN your government do for YOU?

A friend's e-mail arrived today with a simple quote worthy of a minute's consideration...

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

- Dr. Adrian Rogers, (1931-2005), Pastor, Author

China 中國 – Part II (Mao's Missin'!)

First of all, I trust you have read Part I before joining me here....

On Tour:

The Forbidden City covers 720,000 square meters (that is 1,116,002,235 square inches for you metrically challenged readers) and includes five great halls, seventeen palaces, and is reputed to have a total of 9,999 rooms (that number falling just shy of the Chinese concept of infinity symbolized by 10,000 and yet having several 9's, a magic number for royalty). All this indulgence is surrounded by 3,400 meters of stone walls (averaging 7 meters thick and 10 meters high to rebuff cannon attack) and a six meter deep, 52 meter wide (!) moat. Seeing the Emperors’ fancy crib was a good start to touring China as it provided a key perspective on this land and its many centuries of feudalism in which so many supported an elite few for so long.

Our tour company earned our praise mostly for their guides, who were pleasant, capable in English, and knowledgeable about our destinations. They brought us to several touristy spots each day that were interleaved with a factory tour in which we were brought in as a captive audience to view a demonstration, learn the history and observe the manufacture of certain Asian arts. Our guides became head-hunters who were paid a commission for having brought in the tourists and their fat wallets full of Kwai (and plastic) to spend. On one level, we became a commodity, but this type of objectification was not painful and we did our duty by purchasing adequate quantities of appropriate goods to encourage this great Circle of Commerce to prosper for years to come.

Thus, our next stop was an experience of the "Chinese traditional medicine culture", where we had a brief introduction to the mix of Western and Eastern approaches to health, the body, and diagnoses of disease. We are introduced to Eastern medicine and the mapping of the 5 elements (Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, Water) to colors, emotions, and various body parts. At the conclusion of this overview, several doctors in white lab coats enter our classroom to provide a complimentary evaluation of any volunteers among us. The good Doctor's diagnosis is conveyed via a translator to Cathy who is advised to buy some traditional herbs for her "ailments", for which the cost, however, is over $100 for a month's dosage. Cheryl and I also take the bait to test the doctor's insight into our health which is gained only by checking our triple pulse (using three fingers placed upon each wrist) and the visual inspection of our tongue. His conclusion is similar to what any sighted person might advise, that we are both middle-aged and (a touch) overweight. This, we are confident, is a revelation that our local doctors have failed to recognize.

We next stopped to see the expansive grounds of the Temple of Heaven which occupy nearly four times the area of the Forbidden City . This is the famous location where the nation's Emperors would visit annually to pray and offer a sacrifice for the Fall harvest. It is dominated by the Hall of Prayer for Good Harvests, a magnificent triple-gabled circular building, 32 meters in diameter and 38 meters tall, built on top of three concentric levels of a white marble stone base. This structure is completely wooden and constructed without nails (but perhaps just a touch of Gorilla Glue?). Inside the Hall itself are four inner, twelve middle and twelve outer pillars, representing the four seasons, twelve months and twelve traditional Chinese hours (each one being 120 minutes in duration) respectively. For the Chinese, the Earth is represented by a square and Heaven by a circle, so many features of this temple complex symbolize the connection of Heaven and Earth, as seen in the buildings, enclosures, platforms, and landscaping that emphasize the superiority of the heavenly realm over that of earth.

We found ourselves highly fortunate to enjoy grand weather on this day and throughout the remaining week in Beijing. The smog lifted (or was blown away) and blue skies reigned (that's the good kind) with a sunny disposition. Still, the winter cold kept us bundled and bound with hats, mittens and earmuffs. This tour group is small and we are joined with a Colombian family who import Chinese toys to Miami from Hong Kong and so they visit Asia regularly, but it's their first time so far north in the Winter. Thus, for the Escobars, this weather is very cold!

Our daily tours included a lunchtime meal which was at the Bangfuchun Restaurant, where we enjoyed family-style dining with a large Lazy Susan in the center of a table seating our whole family. The fine selections were not unlike those one expects States-side at your local establishment - chicken, pork, (probably) beef, and fish. A highlight was being encouraged (nearly forced) to have a (small) glass of "Chinese white wine", which is actually diesel oil flavored with mouth wash. Good thing I needn't drive that day with 112 proof (56%) jet fuel in my veins -- and I was not the only imbiber that afternoon, but I shall not fink on my nephews...

What Communism?

Onward to a factory where genuine pearls are extracted from the oysters right there in front of one's very eyes. Another marketplace to observe how the products are harvested and strung into lovely jewelry for us to own. No fakes here, obviously, so it is time to buy now. Seriously, we keep our cool and resist the urge to spend frivolously and only let $100 escape from the wallet...

Another 30 minute drive (almost out of town) takes us to the Summer Palace, a very large and beautiful imperial retreat. It is regarded by many experts as a museum of gardens in China having the classic look of a towering Palace on a hill overlooking 2 acres of shimmering lake. The catch is that the landscaping hand of man stretches beyond just the trees, shrubbery and flowers; the hill itself and the entire lake are man-made (just like in Texas and at Disney World). These gardens are the largest destination of the day and our trek around (part of) the frozen Kunming Lake is notable for the elevated corridor on which most of us walk. Originally, only the Emperor (and his attendants) would stride along this half-mile covered portico with its detailed carvings and hand-painted scenes depicting legends and stories of this ancient land. The recurring theme of the Mockingbird from a classic Chinese love story is amplified by the actual birds in the trees nearby. There are also various depictions of the Monkey King, who is strong and swift and can transform into a variety of objects and animals (an ongoing Asian theme apparently) with the exception of his tail! Rather like the Eastern version of Curious George with some magical powers thrown in...

As another reminder of just how the world has changed, street vendors at the palace are hawking plenty of cheap items, in particular both purses and bird calls, although I cannot fathom the connection. At points, we are barraged with invitations to unload our burdensome money. Char, I should note, successfully negotiated a purse from $50 down to just $5 with the simplest phrase – she had said “No thanks” (and she did not buy it). Yes, the initial price is thrown out casually and everyone understands that it is just a starting point to show how great a bargain is about to be presented. Often enough, the price will drop steadily even without making a counter-offer, so silence is as good a bargaining tactic as any for the first round.

At the end of the long corridor is the Marble Boat, a lakeside pier designed by the Empress as an expansive (double-decker house) boat with stained glass, a magnificent bow, and to show off just how much can be done with all that tax money she had available. Cheryl had seen this antiquity on TV long ago and she really wanted to finally see the real thing to prove that one's childhood dreams can come true.

In the evening (on several nights), we visited the Silk Market, where every name-branded retail item is available for sale (e.g. Louis Vuitton, Reebok, Polo). This market of fakes even has fake police, who I suspect are the same kids hired for selling who, while on break, don a vest and helmet to walk about the store looking official. We regularly spotted a teen-aged boy or girl standing near the escalator landings dressed in traditional garb yet appearing very out-of-place in China! I think they were there to sell us on a visit up to a Genghis Khan restaurant. I was tasked to purchase an Ed Hardy rhinestone ball cap, an item that sells for $100 States-side, but was purchased for about $7 at the market. They first offer a special price, several intermediate prices, then a final price, then the lowest price before extending the boyfriend price (while caressing ones cheek affectionately). They are very physical (far more aggressive than in Mexico) and will grab your arm to guide you into their spot, especially if you touch (or look directly upon) an item. The boys, Scotty & Thor, devised a clever team buying approach with a good customer / bad customer style; the second one discouraging any purchase and attracting the distinct ire of the salesperson. So together, they completed many deals (as did all of us) which we discussed eagerly to learn the tricks of this trade.

Cheryl's secret agenda item for this entire voyage (the purpose of the trip shall I say) was to... buy a purse. The male readers (and even a few of the non-males) may find this absurd, but it is certainly not so. As the spouse of a purse-hunter, I have learned to appreciate the bargain, no matter how much effort, planning, blood, and law-breaking may be required of all parties to the transaction. So, once in the market, Cheryl sensed opportunity and struck quickly for if you actually take the initiative with the market's vendors, an even fight is at hand. She had studied carefully, of course, and knew precisely the prey for which she fished and identified the item clearly to the young lady at the booth full of leathery goods. We soon discovered that catalogs and cooperation play a key role as we found the LV satchel pictured on a page of the Chinese Book of the Purses and then the system magically made the item appear. The dealing, however, moved into a side-room away from the main action for, we suspect, some of these items might not be legitimate! Apparently, a mortgage is typically required in the US for most families that take the plunge to acquire a real (read as "very expensive") Looey Vwitone handbag (which is larger than most carry-on suitcases). Not only is Cheryl prepared and informed, but we found ourselves mightily fortunate to have the assistance of the great Purse Master himself! Yes, for Thor had seen a TV show (and actually paid attention) on how to accurately identify such fakes by checking on the color, stitching, etc. Thus, when the fake was pronounced to be a high-quality authentic reproduction, the deal was bound to be finalized and so, for less than a 10-hour taxi ride (or 30 full dinners, or a single oar for that marble boat), she became the proud owner of THAT PURSE. I can assure you that the banner over our hotel room that night read "Mission Accomplished".

The lower floors of the Silk Market are safe, but the 6th floor is very dangerous and up here only the bold and naive (that would be us) dare to tread. One is neither hounded nor assaulted, but rather scrutinized and nearly ignored for here lie the Grand Masters of Sales who appear to be diminutive Chinese girls, but are actually some of the most treacherous demons of the New Capitalism. One finds jade, silk, and pearls in abundance and this is where Cheryl and I found ourselves when the wolves attacked! Pearls are (another) weakness and into the clutches of the Yu Qian Jewelers we walked just as did Hänsel und Gretel who were similarly enticed so that they could be eaten...

There are photographs on the walls of International Celebrities and key political figures (somehow, the Clintons were in every store!), so we are at the right place to strike a bargain. They do not beg you to buy at all, but simply size-up their prey (customers) quickly so take note and do not wear your diamond rings or they will smell blood. A free beer (or two) were offered to me (for I, like Hänsel, am German you see) as a distraction and to repress my instinct to shout "NO". In fact, the ladies were kind and complimentary (having carefully studied the Zen of Flattery) and after brief bargaining down by over 60% (where the scary part is when I realized that an actual price would soon be established), a long strand of Black Pearls was in hand (and on nape). And to let us fully comprehend just how much we had overpaid, they even tossed in TWO Free Gifts!

If it's Tuesday, this must be...

The hotel rooms have disposable slippers that are simply too small for most western feet – on Thor, they fell short by half. On Carrie, however, I suspect they were just right. In fact, she confessed that shoes in China are actually too small (really!) for her feet. We tease her though, that, despite her petite stature, she is a double-XL in China!

The breakfast buffet at the hotel was offered at an irresistible price of just 10元 ($1.50) per patron and included the following delicacies as the best from both the East and West:

• Toast w/ ham,
• Hard-boiled eggs,
• Foam cake with sprinkles,
• Warm milk,
• Warm (orange) Tang (!!),
• Black tea,
• Coffee,
• Bananas,
• Fried rice with egg,
• Elbow macaroni,
• Shredded kelp,
• Steamed dumplings,
• Rice congee (soup),
• Asparagus

Alas, no Cocoa Puffs, Frosty Flakes or Root 'N Tooty selections. But if you are thirsty and can't drink hot Tang, the small gift shop in the hotel lobby offers a wide range of items for the international traveler, including such vital elixirs as Beer, Tea, the magical Red Bull Vitamin Functional Drink (after all this new year brings in the Year of the Ox), and canned coffee. There is NO excuse for lacking caffeine in Beijing! BTW, I saw something that has been absent in the US since the 70’s – a pull tab on soda cans! The mainstream US-brand products use the newer pop-top, but the local drinks and the unknown brands are environmentally dangerous commodities. Jimmy Buffet should walk carefully on the beach here...

Our guide this day is Yuan-Min, who loves Texas basketball (we think he hopes to be mistaken for Yao Ming) and takes us first to visit the 500-year-old Ming Tombs, where thirteen unique Imperial tombs are scattered among the hills for each Ming Dynasty Emperor and his Empress. The one that started this tomb-building frenzy, Yongle, is handsomely recreated in bronze and large piles of paper money lay at his feet in tribute. This observation is the key to the boys' clever plan to distribute temple statuary of Emperors and Buddhas all about the city where they will idly collect monetary tribute which will be collected at intervals for their private use. Typically such offerings are to be used for the temple and its monks, but they boys have other ideas. As we exit the grounds through the gate, the guys step first with their left foot while the gals lead with their right. We said in unison, “Wah Wii Lie Lah” meaning “I am leaving” (or "My Wii controller is broken"). Soon after this stop, we had an extra rider in the tour bus, another guide who was the girlfriend of our driver (and surprisingly to us, they were not very reluctant as to PDA).

Next, we rode back into town (about 50 miles) to the Friend Yongsheng Stone Carving Factory, where Scotty proved himself to be the Jade Master after having received an Official Endorsement by the World’s Largest Jade Market for having accurately identified the genuine article amongst several fake jade bracelets. Naturally, we called upon our in-house expert to evaluate our purchase for Cheryl’s mom to be certain we had a good deal. They have some very large pieces costing many thousands and use every bit of the stones, even creating sand pictures from colored jade dust! For the grand-daughters, we custom-ordered a pair of Jade Chops (stamps) with their names in both English and Chinese. We watched the expert carver do his job swiftly and I had the opportunity to chat in Japanese with the sales lady (who, no doubt, was too kind in praise of my ability after a 20 year lapse).

After a mid-day traditional Chinese lunch, we set off to see the Great Wall of China! Finally, another great milestone as we had recently seen Chichen Itza, so this visit marked TWO of the Modern Wonders of the World in just months. We first posed for the ritual of a group photo which turned out rather nice and was sold to us with a book about the wall. The boys then took off quickly to scale the wall and reported later that they nearly reached Mongolia (or at least far away) where they met a man with a camel and negotiated 10元 ($1.50) for a ride. Then paid another "fee" to take pics as proof of their camel ride. More Capitalism growing in the countryside of this vast country! There are many vendors along the wall even quite far up from the "base camp" near the roadways. We did not take the famous cable-car ride, but selected a point from which the hike from carpark to wall is rather short. I thought that I had traveled a considerable distance over a dozen segments (between towers), but the boys went further than that - so much for the zany exploits of youth (says the wisdom of age). They boys bought their T-shirts and may have borrowed a small unused part of the structure itself as a souvenir to prove their adventure was real. It is truly a marvelous sight and a great place to add to one's lifetime of experiences. So, the climb up hundreds of steps atop the steep walls in bitter-cold gale-force winds was a Great Adventure for all.


On Thursday, we set out for a second visit to Mao. The map showed just how close the Square was to the hotel, but distance is deceiving so we had a good distance walk to see the street life of Beijing. Halfway along, taxis and scooter drivers sensed our presence and offered a ride to our destination. Charleene, having so recently acquired new knees, was quite interested in accepting the offer knowing the risk of being abducted. Fortunately, her son, Scotty, joined her on the scooter, which took off quickly in a perpendicular direction to where we expected to go. They had bargained a price of 20 (which in Yuan is fair), but the driver did attempt some extortion by claiming it was $20 (7 times more then Yuan), but settled for 20元 ($3.00) each - a good price for a good story! Barricades guide our access and force us to traverse and underground walkway rather than cross the roadway. Metal detectors intercept our pathway to scan our backpacks and purses (but not us) to catch contraband and appear to provide security. No time is lost, however, as we quickly stuff items on the conveyor, push by swiftly and grab them back again (very unlike at airports). We approach the guards ready to line up for the Chairman, but are informed that he is busy on Thursdays! Doing what, one can only imagine. So, we have failed again to see him and only then recalled that we were told to return on Tuesday, but were busy on the tour, so had waited until our free day. Drat, how can a dead guy be so busy that he can't spend a few moments with his anxious visitors?

Next...

There is still more ahead, so Part III will be coming soon! For now, check out more photos of the adventure...

Hooyah

Hooyah !

After a long week, success and accomplishment are the result from hard work and dedication for our well-trained sailors whose minds, bodies, and spirits have persevered through agony and temptation to reveal character and inner strength.

Congratulations to all the brave men who stood firm to make their dreams become reality and to defend this nation, its principles and its people.

We certainly appreciate our many faithful friends and family members who joined together in prayer this week to lift them up this week and as they move forward in recovery.

Thank God for such men who dare to reach beyond their fear and push their endurance to the impossible. It is time to celebrate and express our pride in them this day and always. Praise God for each man and continue to pray for their safety, growth, and success!

US Navy SEAL Hell Week

As most of you know, our son-in-law is in the US Navy Seal Training program. From this Sunday through next Friday is Hell Week, which is where these young men are allowed only about five hours sleep for the entire week. They are put through unbelievable training and their physical, mental, and emotional abilities are pushed way beyond what anyone thinks they can endure.



Having said all that I know that God can help him endure that which is impossible to endure. So we am asking friends, family, and anyone else to sign up for a time to pray for him.

Currently, over 60 people have dedicated a specific 1/2-hour (or more) between Sunday, February 15th and Friday at 1:00 pm on the 20th. If you wish to join the list, please E-Mail us and indicate when you are willing to pray for him. The more people we have praying the better. Our goal is that every minute he is training, someone will be praying "him through". While you are praying please remember to pray for peace for his wife and his mother as well. Recently, I had the opportunity to share with him to remember that "they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31).

Thank you so much for we do not fully understand how much these prayers will mean to him. This interactive calendar (now removed) lists the latest dedicated prayer times (displayed in the Pacific Time Zone) which you can view.

I would like to conclude with a quote from a letter of encouragement to our family from a fine young man, a good friend, and a US Navy SEAL himself. "Give him your prayers but overall be proud. Give remorse to those who will never have the opportunity to go through what he is going through. For a man to push himself to the breaking point and then bust right through it, there is no greater feeling of accomplishment. He will forever be changed after this week. As time goes on he will forget the bad memories and grow to cherish every moment he went through this week as I have grown to do. For I know now what my body and more importantly my mind can do. He is going into this a man and coming out a warrior. He will never drop his chin to anyone or anything again. It’s a gift very few will ever go through."

This is not just another day...

I experienced a very odd event on a recent afternoon -- mostly, I think, because it surprised me...

I now work in a building that is within a mile of my first professional employment that I accepted in August of '85. I pass by that old office building on my drive in to the "new" one (which is actually older than I am). Mega Corp, Inc. likes to train us thoroughly and schedules plenty of meetings, so another was planned for a recent afternoon to learn more about how to avoid looking like we don't understand what we do (or something like that).

So, off across the parking lots and alleyways and crosswalks to another building and to the mini-auditorium (so called), when I realize (rather instantly) that I had been there just twenty-two years ago. The same coat racks, phones, carpet, (bright orange) chairs, walls, etc. A real time-warp hit me that I had gone back to a lost (and hidden) moment. Not just any moment though. In early February of 1987 (perhaps on that same day? Could it have been?), I was in that same auditorium in the same third row when my pager buzzed me. No cell phones for me then. So, my one-way device alerted me with a simple phone number to ring back. This is a strong memory because that pager was for one purpose - to alert me to my wife's hospital room, where she was on bed rest from nausea and complications while expecting baby K...

Perhaps unnecessarily, but youthfully, I jumped and ran to reach a phone. But none worked in the auditorium lobby (they still don't I expect) and thus began the sprint across parking lots, alleyways, and walkways back to my (old) office to call and discover the cause of the page. Details vanish, but I drove like an idiot back home (yup, through several red-lights). To this day, I generally forgive other idiots who rush by me (and keep going) since I assume they are headed off to deal with something gone terribly awry).

I am close, you see, to a birthday that only two people recognize. Other folk will acknowledge the upcoming date by taunting the Triscadecaphobes among us with stories of "Friday the Thirteenth". But I have only one story this day to ponder of a Friday long since past on which a Full Moon shone brightly, the TV show Dallas was still new (and on the air that night), a candy bar needed to be purchased from a vending machine (to sate a pregnant craving), flights of stairs were climbed while in labor (the hospital elevator was sooo slow) and a (very) little girl was born on that early morning to touch our lives briefly yet evermore...

Perhaps each day our paths meet along side of another soul experiencing a similar reminder on their calendar? We each have a tragedy (or more) in our private Soap Opera episodes and must recognize these recurring anniversaries, recollections, déjà vu sensations of colors or scents, and, yes, for secret birth dates, too. Is it sad for me to have only one person with whom to share these times? Not at all, for I have such great blessings to enjoy as it would be sadder still to have no-one at all by my side!

I am thankful now for a time of reflection on my life and the challenges that face every one of us. May such tribulations enhance the days ahead with gratitude and lift our spirits to rise from grief to fully embrace eternal love. Little K was in our lives for just 35 days, but she remains in two hearts forever more. And if I should reach out in her spirit to share a comfort with a friend, a smile with a passer-by, or a prayer with God, then her short moment in time shall be well celebrated indeed...

Hypocrisy is not change...

We hear daily of the Media's drama
'bout this new Camelot of Obama
Is he Kennedy's encore?
Or Honest Abe once more?
Seems we've 'lected the Dalai Lama!

Celebrate Lincoln's 200th Birthday this year with a study of his doppelgänger, our new president, Barack Obama who...

...claims that America's greatest moral failure is the lack of care for its (poor) citizens... but ignores his personal failure to care for his own family members despite his personal wealth.

...claims that the underpayment of women is criminal, ...but he discriminates by paying women just 78% of the men's salaries on his own Senate staff!

...claims that Americans must lower our thermostats for the common good of the world, ...but actually keeps his office well above the 72F level he condemned!

...claims that no lobbyists will play a part in his 4-yr administration, ...but granted an ethics waiver to a Raytheon lobbyist to be Deputy DoD Secretary.

...claims we have a moral obligation to stand against Walmart's employment practices, ...but his wife earned $100,000 as a director of a major supplier without any complaints.

...claims every American has a right to health care, ...but votes to exempt the children who survive abortion.

...claims "the defining moment of our age" is his introduction of Socialism to America, ...but Reagan coined the phrase to celebrate an end to Communism!

...claims that the races should form a united America, ...but attended sermons preaching against white America for 20 years.

...claims his father was a goat herder, ...but he really was a priviledged, well-educated youth with a government job.

...claimed that America must not betray its fallen soldiers by letting the Iraq war fail, ...but now insists upon unconditional withdrawal.

...claimed during the campaign that his rivals' gas-tax relief plans were bad policy, ...but voted 3 times in the Illinois Senate for a temporary suspension of the state's 5% tax.

...claims that corruption in government must end, ...but has accepted $150,000 from indicted businessman, Tony Rezko.

...claimed to be the only candidate not accepting lobby money, ...but he received over $2Million from them.

There are just so many more deceptive and misleading misstatements!

H. L. Mencken is quoted as having said, "The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office."

Happy S**** Day!

In honor of yet another special holiday created for this world of consumers by the International Consortium of Greeting Card Manufacturers, I present this little poem that I wrote just last November thanks to a suggestive muse from a friend...

---

Apothegm

I bear just one, my very own
And so as well do you
There are no more that you can keep
You can't hold onto two

Mother was so thrilled to see
When first I had formed mine
She laughed out loud to all around
And let hers brightly shine

Take care and prudence every day
By scrubbing super clean
For if those tines should e'er fall out
You'll just appear so mean

If you can't speak another's tongue
Yet desire to add a friend
Greet any strangers with yours on
It can surely not offend

When running for a public office
And want yourself elected
Expose yours on the Evening News
'Cause that's what is expected

"I know of only one sure bet",
Most people often say
"You earn a fresh one in return
If you donate yours away"

Your enemies shall fail their quest
To comprehend thy plans
Confound the cynics against thee set
When o’er your jaw this spans

And when your lover's ire is come
Leap to melt that icy frost
Not for a stretch can they resist
Your visage so neatly flossed

If I flash mine at you today
You'll flash yours back at me
As friendly as that Yellow Face
Known to all humanity

The smart young lass in thigh-high boots,
The cop who guards the street
Will gladly share this act with you
Anytime you two shall meet

The bigger is the better one
So choose to open wide
The world will stand in awe of you
And the power of fluoride

When your life has offered lemons
Or friends have left you down
Do not surrender to the gloom
Nor hold onto a frown

We build a timeless link to peers
Deep down within our hearts
When curving lips uplift to thee
Eternal kinship starts

So keep a rule for all your life:
If e'er it's been awhile
Bring peace and love to everyone
Present to all your SMILE!

---

My title selection is an uncommon word with an usual pronunciation (āp'ə-thěm'), but with a simple meaning. So here is a wish for a Happy Smile Day to y'all! Go out and share your cheerful visage with the world and spread some grins to everyone you meet today and, perhaps, even tomorrow...

The Lombardi Trophy is Steel

Congratulations to the greatest team in NFL history upon their victory (through a very tough game to defeat a very good Cardinals team). Fans like us are always proud, but it sure helps to have more records to brag about!

The Pittsburgh Steelers' greatest tricks
Encourage me to write limericks
As an ode to Big Ben
And his team of sharp men
For Superbowl win number six!

Death to Frosty

The weather in Texas is really not something to complain about as we have reasonable temperatures year-round. Although some folks think that we don't have seasons, we do get toasted Summers over 100 (occasionally on many such days) and some chilly sub-freezing days in Winter. Yesterday was one such occurrence with an Ice Storm thrown in giving us black ice on the roadways and some freezing rain as well. Nonetheless, the worst is past and after this morning's defrost is done, no evidence remains - no brown snow along the roads and walking paths, no sand forever on our cars and clothing, no lasting cold to keep one isolated indoors...

Tis a wonderful time despite the hassles of extra traffic and the various complications on our cities having power failures, auto accidents and the like. I have realized today that the defrost after this storm is wonderful, for the dripping water gives the impression of walking in the rain while not getting wet, the sunshine reflects on the ice and adds vibrancy to every color, and slow walking outside (as one must step along carefully) adds more time to appreciate nature and avoid being rushed.

Frosty won't live long in Texas, but we don't mind at all...

Chocolate Cake Day

Marketing forces are hard at work (and also v clever) to present the world with a noble holiday called Chocolate Cake Day! How can anyone ignore such a festive and happy day to celebrate one's favorite desert either with friends & family or perhaps alone with just a fork This is an opportunity to remember all of those tasty cakes from birthdays of yore (the more you have had the better I say) and reflect upon their gooey sweetness and forgive them those calories bestowed upon us (they knew not what they did).

So, enjoy this Tuesday like none other before and make your favorite baker happy!

A Fuzzy Peach Mint

In light of the first day of impeachment for Illinois' "Embattled Governor" (as the news media like to say, when they have a victim on the ropes), I want to share an inspired verse written last month when the fun was still fresh!

The news is full of Blagojevich
As his critics reach a fevered pitch
Two Jacksons and Duckworth
Buying a Senate berth
Thought all they need do is make Rod Rich

Thanks Rod, for the muse, the Chicago-style corruption, and that hair! As said on the Daily Show, "apparently this man has nothing to hide, except perhaps, what is written on his forehead."

China 中國 – Part I (Visiting Mao’s House)

Outward Bound:

My wife and I had a wonderful and brief Experience of a Lifetime during the New Year’s holiday break this year to visit Beijing (北京 once called Peking) in China. We traveled as a party of seven to visit Cheryl’s niece who lives in Tian Jin (天津), the country’s third largest city (having about 11.5 million residents), which is about 150 kilometers from Beijing and its 17.4 million dwellers that make it that country's second largest city.

Cheryl’s sister, Charleene, who recently had both knees replaced was ready to visit her daughter, Carrie, who has lived in the PROC for nearly two years to teach students in English. Three of her other children accompanied her – Cathy, Beth, and Scotty. Not ones to let such opportunity pass by, the two of us naturally found ourselves on the team to join this bunch of adventurers. Not enough people you say? That's why we took along another cousin, Christopher (aka Thor), to help carry the luggage...

Kudos to Cheryl who did a fantastic job of planning for us with many details to be carefully arranged such as car rentals, multiple plane flights, hotels, tour planning, passports, currency exchange and more. We planned our trip for after the Olympics to avoid the extra $Billion in expenses, enjoy a cleaner cityscape, reduce the impact on school schedules, and avoid the crowds. And, it worked! For us, the rate was about 6.8 Yuan (aka CNY, RMB or 元) to the US Dollar (before exchange fees) so a 100元 note is a tad under US$15. I should note that Americans must obtain visas for travel to China, for which we also paid $175 per person! This fee was increased prior to the Olympics and remains high...

Our group met in Newark, NJ at a hotel the night before the departure on Dec 27th. We drove about 4 hours from Syracuse, NY following my trusty GPS to reach an empty lot (where it appeared a building may once have been located) in the heart of that city where smart tourists never go and the dumb ones never leave. Turns out that we had been directed to a spot over 3 miles from the one we wanted, so that MIO GPS now has two strikes against it!

Flight 89 is a non-stop Continental Airlines flight over the North Pole – this route provides a breathtaking view of nothing! This planet north of Canada is nearly devoid of human evidence (from 5 miles up) so one has plenty of white snow and some icebergs to view. The flight time is about 13 hours, but it’s not so long when there are frequent breaks for a hot towel (very nice!) and a pseudo-snack (which is neither Chinese nor American so I was unsure who to blame).

We landed in the late afternoon under the Burnt Sienna skies of Beijing – the absolute worst smog that I have ever seen obscured the Sun more than the Moon would have done during an eclipse itself. Here at last we were in a foreign land (yes, more so than NJ) where things would be so very different for us, having arrived at an airport that looks more like a prison (from the airstrip), yet excited to see a new world, experience new sensations, and hug our DaNiCoSi (daughter/niece/cousin/sister).

Family Reunion:

Not many flights arrived with us so the expanse of the Beijing Airport (whose motto is "Harmonious Airport, Dreams Start from Here") and the long halls to traverse it were open to just our pack of 400 weary travelers. Quickly, the evidence of a culture that is once again undergoing a revolution is clear to us. A display of ancient temple bells greet us in one hall, while my dear friend Yao Ming offers an irresistible deal on a new cell phone as we pass under him on the escalator.

Then, at the baggage claim, we received our first Christmas Greeting (there would be many this week) from the Chinese people to their visitors – a glitzy (read tacky) tree proclaiming “Merry Christmas”. The Communists appear to see no necessity to separate State and Commercialized Religion. It must be genuine Faith that scares the People's Congress...

As we passed through immigration, we are greeted politely and efficiently. A panel of buttons on the counter before me prompts for answers to the question, “How is my service?” I am unsure about whether I have any option but to provide the correct response (“Excellent!”) if I wish to enjoy my visit and avoid prison. I bet that she had a perfect rating every week...

Our tour company, Beijing Xinhua International Tours, was hired to provide three full days seeing the local sights and also ground transportation between the airport and our hotel. So, we were met by our tour guide for the day, Erica, and Carrie as we finally emerged from all the entry gates setup for international arrivals. It was a great reunion for the family and a wonderful pair of smiling faces to greet us!

The Beijing Zhong An Hotel is relatively small and was selected for its price and proximity to the downtown area, railway station and subway. We had originally planned a more conventional packaged tour, but our reservation was cancelled by the booking company when our deposit was not promptly received (although they did not ask for it). So, Cheryl booked the same hotel (as that tour would have used) on her own and it was just marvelous and met our expectations that had been gleaned from the online reviews which were quite accurate. For instance, the mattresses (there and in all of China we must assume) are made from Cinder Blocks as they could be described only too kindly as 'firm'. China is full of Warning Signs for all types of hazards (yet there are fewer lawyers here than in our homeland), but none is posted at the hotel room door about what lies within. I would suggest, "Do not attempt to bounce on bed" for such an undertaking could break your ankles.... Additionally, the pillows come in two varieties, one is fluffy and agreeable, while its mate is genetically linked to its larger cousin, the mattress. A pillow-fight in Beijing would not last long as these are lethal at even a modest velocity. We could have pinned any of our wrestler nephews to the floor with but a half dozen of them placed upon him!

Our room was nice and toasty warm, which is fine if you are sliced bread. There are few options available under Communism, however, so there are not simple conveniences such as a thermostat available to make even slight alterations to the room temperature. Chairman Mao says what is the proper air temp for good health, so why should anyone question his wisdom? We made a mental note to pick-up a copy of The Little Red Book and see if this is directly referenced therein. The windows DO open, however, so we were able to adjust downward to a cooler temp during the night as we (crazy Americans) prefer. The advantage of this method, is that we got to enjoy the sounds and aromas of China even in our dreams (which don't last as long when sleeping on a concrete slab).

The hotel has a 200元 (about $30) refundable deposit on each electronic card-key for the room and only one is issued per room, which adds some challenge when any (but not all) of us were out in the evening (or just down in the lobby on the computer). This is compounded by not being able to take the key along if anyone is staying in the room since the key is placed in a slot near the door to enable the interior lighting. Yes, without the key in place, none of the lights will operate (to save energy). With one exception, that is, being the hallway light that is activated by a sensor, so it turns on when you walk about at night and turns off on a 1-minute timer.

They had complimentary Internet access on a communal computer located in the lobby area. and, although it was shared by all the guests, most of the time, we were waiting on one another for access to our critical email. This PC was restored from a ghost image nightly, so one could not save any favorites or keep a text file on the local drive (I learned this, naturally, after having done both on the first day). Also, being in China, the tendency (of the computer, not me) was to translate my English text upon entry which added an interesting complexity to outbound mail. Fortunately, Google has an English page which seemed to overcome this Mandarin widget.

On our first night, we dined at the hotel restaurant (which most online reviewers had praised quite highly) and Carrie adroitly ordered multiple dishes from the menu. They did have a large bound menu with pictures (and absolutely no English), but I carefully looked at each offering and found none that appeared pleasing - in fact, many were scary, such as the earthworms and shredded cucumber dusted in sesame seeds (you do realize that I am guessing here, but that is what I saw). Our meal certainly tasted far better and looked reasonably better, so the chef outdid the photographer that week. It was a fine start on learning to eat with two sticks of wood!

Like at many restaurants, several tanks with large fish were placed in the dining area to encourage us to order a very fresh meal. Over the week, however, Thor and I noted that several of the residents fell ill, swam sideways, slept upside down, and turned up missing (a Texas phrase) the next day so we decided to skip that delicacy.

First Light of Morning:

It was very cold each day starting at about -10°C (14°F) in the morning and then sky-rocketing up to freezing by afternoon. Although the city had no snow on the ground, the rivers, moats, and lakes were frozen over, sufficiently so that we frequently spotted violators of the warning signs walking across the ice to take a shortcut or simply enjoying the experience with their families. Thus, we are dressed for the chill which attacks us fiercely (especially when the wind gusts hard), such that our ear muffs, hats, mittens, jackets, and (personally) thermal underwear are pressed to keep our bodies warm.

Our group gathered together before dawn (about 7:30) in the hotel lobby to meet our tour guide (he called himself Bruce Lee but I don't think it was really him) for our first full day roaming the city. Since we are located in the KuiJiaChang Hutong – a long alleyway that is sufficiently narrow and twisting for smaller cars to traverse, we walked about 200 meters to reach the main street where our bus awaited us. I should note that our capable driver did pull in front of the hotel for luggage transfer (which saved us considerable work in the cold), but it took awhile and would have been an unreasonable effort on tour days.

After introductions, Bruce talks about our itinerary, the city, his background (neither he nor any of our guides is a Beijing native, but came to the Big City to leave their rural homes). He warned us about buying fake merchandise in the market (imagine that!) and how to avoid purchasing used clothing (ask to see an identical item in another size), find real pearls (the famous tooth test), and negotiate prices (typically, one can easily drop from 1000元 down to under 300元). He described the nation’s dynastic history covering more than 20 centuries and the rich mosaic of its leaders up to the last one in 1911. After further commentary on the revolutions of the 19th century, this comment was addressed to us, “We are a new Capitalist State and just learning how it’s done”. “Y'all are rather good at it already” I think quietly as he explains that the Mao regime was a failure and the recent changes are good for both China and the world. It will just take awhile until they adopt adequate laws to cover all of the new issues that a free-market creates. Still, we will soon see just how this market pays little heed to the concepts of patent and copyright…

Our first stop is at Tiananmen Square, site of the National Museum (closed for construction), Parliament (we are not invited in there), and the Chairman himself. So, we are ready to visit Mao to see how he is holding up during his post-mortem years (since September 1976 BTW) and pay our respects. However, the square is cordoned off to visitors for the day, but we are reassured that he will be greeting guests tomorrow, so we have a date for Tuesday (don't forget). Originally, I had a plan to drive a radio-controlled model tank under the ropes and past the guards, but imprisonment on my second day just does not seem wise (and I forgot to bring it along anyway).

At the northern end of the square is the 500 year-old Forbidden City (the largest ancient Imperial Palace in the world) which has been the home to two dozen emperors. We have two hours to traverse the 720,000 square meters of this royal city from the Tian’an Gate (where Mao first announced the start of his Great Revolution) to the Gate of Divine Might at its northern extreme. This is over a kilometer's distance and brings us through traditional gates, past military troops, under vicious Fu Dogs, over imperial staircases and across sprawling courtyards to reach the innermost palace. It is an amazing place where the common man (and woman) is now permitted to walk about freely, view the (formerly) secret patios, touch the ancient statuary, and sell Russian-style fur hats with a little red plastic star to the tourists, both foreign like us and domestic ones too...

Next..

The day is not yet over, so Part II will be coming soon! For now, check out more photos of the adventure...

P.S. If you cannot (and want to) see 生来 as , then read this page.