Tick Della Roo

Me: "My face hurts!"
Wife: "It's killin' me!"

Haha - that's Wicks family humor for ya! I had to record a voice message for my new boss on Tuesday to let him know that I would be late as I had to see my dentist about a tooth ache. Couldn't say that my face hurt...

Despite his enthusiasm, X-Rays, and several tests, my dentist couldn't solve it, so my merciful wife "encouraged" me to visit a Care Now doc last night who had the fun of diagnosing me as a victim of Tic Douloureux, so at least my latest disorder has a sexy French appelation...

The bad news, however, began quickly with my Google searches:

** "Tic douloureux is generally a disease of middle age or later life" - okay, so I'm there and the parts are wearing out.

** "...is possibly the most painful condition known to medical science" - ooh, not so good to learn that, except I can brag about it at cocktail parties!

** "...the cause of this disorder is unknown in most cases" - darn, but I'm sure it can't last long!

** "...patients may have daily face pain attacks for weeks to months" - well, medical science must have a cure!

** "...after a remission (if any), it reoccurs as severe as ever, while other individuals have the pain continually" - ouch!

** "...for most patients, the episodes become more frequent and more resistant to treatment with medications over time" - darn Internet can provide too much information!

** "...there are severe surgical procedures that might be effective" - which means brain surgery as in skull bone cutting, etc...

** "...there are no long-term medical consequences of the disorder as it is purely a pain syndrome" - pain without consequences! Yippee...

** "'...victims 'are begging to be killed,' said Kim Burchiel, M.D., professor and chairman of neurological surgery at the Oregon Health & Science University School of Medicine, 'I'm telling you, it's total agony'" - maybe an expert, but I'm not sure I want to see Dr. Kim about my prospects...

Okay, enough already with the Internet advice!

If YOU don't have TN (aka Trigeminal Neuralgia), then congratulations! Enjoy not being in the worst pain ever... with no prospect for an effective cure. Still, you should worry as "it is estimated that 1 in 15,000 people suffer from it...", but don't pull those teeth quite yet!

My arrival in my late 40's and recent bouts with illness (e.g. a recent, painful, yet benign and huge blood clot in my leg) is an opportunity to be reminded of mortality and to accept being reliant upon others for some of the simplest things in life.

Can I find a blessing in this tribulation? I know it is possible and have done so before and observed the witness of those who praise God despite their most daunting troubles.

Physically, there appears to be a fault in the design of this facial nerve, but parts naturally wear out and it is a more basic tenet of science that dictates the failure of systems. However, if illness, trauma, and all things unwelcome were eliminated, would the world provide a foundation in which humanity would thrive?

Beyond Mother Nature's call for the Circle of Life to govern her domain and prevent any long-term domination by either individual or species, I am certain that the challenging Problem of Evil lies at the core of our happiness itself.

I may be very upset at an illness which strikes randomly without any apparent cause, but it is a reminder of a justice that is truly blind. Can I appreciate happiness without having known the dissatisfaction of an unmet need? I must say that when my TN pain subsides from any of my dozen "attacks" each day, the respite is so welcome that I experience great comfort and appreciation for my relief. Perhaps, even made deeper in that it is a temporal restoration, bound not to endure and not under my control.

Without illness, there is no need. Without need, there is no assistance. Without assistance, there is no giving. Without giving, there is no sacrifice. Without sacrifice, there is no love.

My infirmity is required so that you can offer love. For me to learn to love, I must recognize your need and decide to sacrifice what I have to give and assist.

Hopefully, my Tic will subside. If not tomorrow, then soon. But, the reminder of how many needs in this world remain unmet should remain on my mind forever. After all, it would be shameful for my pain to be wasted...